Don't massage in church!

About this time last year the PAMIC (People Against Massage In Church) became more or less formalized as blogger, Prodigal Jon, wrote a manifesto summoning fellow non-massagers to unite.  The four main articles go as follows:

1. The difference between a pat and a massage.
We recognize and respect the need to pat someone on the back. Sometimes, it’s good to say “Hi” or “Good job” or “Your chair is currently resting on my big toe” with a small tap on the back. We support that. But when you pat more than four times and then linger, you have now crossed into massage territory my friend. And you’re about to find yourself on the other end of a “PAMIC Attack.”

2. Circles are great for cheerios, not church.
We recognize and respect the need to lay a hand on someone as you say hello or want to show your spouse support during a prayer. But when you start rubbing in a circle, a square or any other geometrical shape, you are now giving a massage. That’s not a big deal right? Wrong. Your rotating hand is creating what we call a “circle of distraction.” People around you will not be able to focus on the sermon as they instead become hypnotized by watching you. God hates that. It’s in Numbers or Exodus I think.

3. There are consequences if you try to massage us.
The members of PAMIC are attractive and funny and Godly and often smell very nice. Please don’t get confused by those four things and think it’s OK to ever give us a back or neck rub during church. If you do, we can’t be held responsible if you suddenly find yourself in some sort of karate arm bar lock, a sleeper hold or at the bottom of a wicked leg drop.

4. Don’t confuse not loving in church massages with not loving life, Jesus, our spouses etc.
You will assume, based on our plans to rid all churches, in all countries of “during church massages,” that we are not loving people. That perhaps you are rubbing someone’s neck as an act of worship or praise or affection. And that members of PAMIC are not into any of those things. That is adorable. It’s possible we held hands with our spouses as we walked into church. We might give back rubs at home. We could be amazing “snugglers” but when it comes to touching folks at church, we follow the Bible. And there’s not a single example of someone in the Bible giving someone else a neck or back rub while Jesus taught. I dare you to find me a verse that show someone massaging someone else while they listened to the Sermon on the Mount for instance.

Carolyn McCulley adds her voice along with a word at the end to make sure people don’t freak out and get serious/ugly about the issue.

Sex, marriage, & cultural currents

Alex Chediak’s article over at The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) needs no introduction.  Very insightful.

In the latest issue of World magazine, Megan Basham reviews romantic comedy He’s Just Not That Into You (rated PG-13 for sexual content and some strong language).  I’ve not seen it, but I am not surprised to learn that the film is nothing other than the latest variation on the same, worn theme of aggressive, independent women chasing men into their late 20s and early 30s, hoping against hope that they will somehow earn the unwavering love, commitment and respect for which they so deeply (and painfully) long.  They are mainly unsuccessful, as the film’s title suggests, as these men are “just not that into them.”  Basham explains:

“Behind the laughs, and, indeed, the film’s popularity, is an unspoken question: What left women in such a precarious position? Why do we so rarely see romantic comedies that show men pursuing women anymore, as opposed to merely ‘realizing’ they’re in love two-thirds of the way through the film?”

What’s changed, Basham goes on to insightfully explain, is that women are now “liberated from the social norm of saving sex for marriage” which means that men are free to approach their pursuit of women as a quest for physical and relational intimacy apart from any long-term, binding commitment.  They can enjoy sexual intimacy without being “stuck” with a particular woman, so they in turn grow more “stuck” in passivity, unwilling to exert sacrificial energy for their woman, unable to savor the joy that only a lifelong, binding, monogamous relationship can cultivate.

Moreover, given the abundance of women willing to play by these rules, many men feel justified in scornfully regarding a woman for even wanting marriage and family.  In the film, the character Beth (Jennifer Aniston) is afraid to bring up marriage with her seven-year, live-in boyfriend because she doesn’t want to seem “clingy or psycho.”

The 80% female audience ought to be left with the inescapable conclusion: trading hearts and bodies for the temporary affection of men is a losing proposition. On the other hand, the confident, steadfast reservation of sex for marriage results in a woman attracting the right kind of man – a man who will lay down his life to earn her respect and win her love.  Sadly, the movie’s ending suggests that the four love-hungry protagonists can have their cake and eat it too.  Only in the movies, folks.

Santa or no?

A few thoughts from Noel Piper on one of the most vexing theological questions of our time:  what do we do with the generous, cheery, if scarily omniscient, well-fed man in the red suit?

Have you read Harry Potter?

I haven’t.  Theologian and writer, Andy Naselli, recently finished the entire book series.  Some people, not surprisingly, were disappointed/shocked by this and told him so.  I’m certainly not endorsing the books, much less the movies (again, I haven’t seen or read any of them), but what Naselli discovered when he personally addressed each one of his objectors is sad.

I have spoken confidently against authors I’ve never read before.  I can even think of occasions when, after reading more from a particular author, I realized that I caricatured and misrepresented the work.  Oh, the inner bigot is ugly.

Yes, the prophets and NT writers as well were capable of outrage.  But, outrage is a dangerous thing.  And when outrage is not informed by the facts and the context, it either is or can come across as nothing more than bigotry.  Either way, we lose credibility.

Gambling, the gospel, and social justice

Is going to the casino an innocent pleasure?  Is it simply another form of entertainment, like the movies or the arcade?  Aren’t the kids gambling when they put a token in at Chuck E. Cheese hoping that they’ll roll the balls into the holes enough times, pull a giant string of tickets, cash in and leave with a plastic paratrooper or a spider ring?

Well, Dr. Moore doesn’t address the ethics of a trip to Chuck E. Cheese, but he does have some thought-provoking observations on what casinos do and what they leave in their wake.

Christian celebrity-itis

Historian, Carl Trueman, has some positive things to say about the so-called Young, Restless, & Reformed trend in American evangelicalism.  He also has some concerns.

12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers

It doesn’t take long to get acquainted with the ways of Facebook and Facebookees.  FB can be a great opportunity to take little opportunities to express friendship or thoughtfulness, to keep up with old friends, to share the gospel, and several other good things.  It can also be a greenhouse for narcissism.

Read and keep a watch out for the fruits of self-absorption.  [There's one phrase in this CNN post that is off color.  It does not reflect the views of this little blog.]

I recommend you, Pivoter, read…

A few weeks ago one of the pastors of a Sovereign Grace church sent around an email volley to other Sovereign Grace pastors asking what books they might recommend specifically for 18-30 somethings.  I’m sure there are much better answers but here are a few that would come to mind.

Just Do Something (Kevin DeYoung)

Best book on the topic of discovering God’s will – which is the most popular Pivot-aged (18-30) question by far!

Stop Dating the Church, (Joshua Harris), Why We Love the Church (Kevin DeYoung)

Many of our young adults have read Josh’s book. Those who haven’t, should.  DeYoung’s book on the church was just released.  It looks like a great book for the generation most influenced by postmodernism. A good antidote to the mass exodus of millennials from the church.

What is a Healthy Church Member (Thabiti Anyabwile)

A solid encouragement to the college-age roamer who comes to the college/career meetings but never reads his bulletin or shows up on a sign up list to serve.

Gospel-Centered Books

Hold the center!  Any of our excellent Sovereign Grace or otherwise published works that press on the centrality of the gospel and its relevance for our lives would be vital reading.  Close your eyes and pick anything by Mahaney, Bridges, or Ferguson.

Worldliness (edited Mahaney) or Set Apart (Hughes)

Addressing matters of godliness, love of the world, wisdom and vigilance. Perennially important for 20 somethings.

Tactics (Gregory Koukl)

A short, engaging, funny, yet substantive book on how to strengthen one’s conversational apologetics and get armed and ready for all the opinionated 20 somethings that we call university students.

The Reason For God (Timothy Keller)

A longer, more in-depth study through some of the major objections to Christian faith. Keller’s approach is so winsome and his style of writing so fresh, it’s hard to come away from this book without a greater appreciation for the beauty and compelling nature of God’s truth.

What Is a Christian Worldview (Philip Ryken), pamphlet

Beautifully written and might make a good short study through Creation/Fall/Redemption/Restoration motifs. I would guess that if you wanted to get people’s feet wet in the Calvinism/election issues, that the companion pamphlets in the Basics of Reformed Faith series would likely be very well-written and concise. Another good study of the ‘bible storyline’/biblical theology would be Edmund Clowney’s The Unfolding Mystery.

What’s the Difference (Piper), 50 Crucial Questions (Piper/Grudem)

Or anything that clearly presents biblical complimentarianism. Campus Ministries in many places have given up this position and become card-carrying egalitarians. So even Christian college-aged people who come to our meetings often have NO category for the phrase “men are called to lead.”

Boys Meets Girl (Harris), Holding Hands Holding Hearts (Phillips), Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart (Ensor)

The books dovetail at many points but compliment each other nicely by moving off the mains into different directions. Ensor’s book fits into the complimentarian study category as well.

A Call To Spiritual Reformation (Donald Carson)

Teaching young people to pray the way the NT writers prayed. Excellent. Also Carson’s Difficult Doctrine of the Love of God. Brief, helpful resource on a much distorted doctrine.

Dead Guy Books/Studies

John Piper’s biographical works in The Swans are Not Silent Series are very good. Thomas Watson’s The Godly Man’s Picture would be a great study for young men.

Gospel in 6 minutes

We’re continuing our Incarnate Series at the Pivot this Sunday night.  Hope to see all the usual suspects and if you’re in the area, it’d be great to have you join us.

This series is focused on how we are to live and speak as representatives of Christ in this world.  I haven’t started developing the message yet, but this Sunday night is slated to be about telling the gospel.

Here’s Piper – whom we affectionately call jpipes – doing it in 6.

Piper on the prosperity gospel

Said as only Piper can.

I am so grateful to God for John Piper’s God-centeredness.  This is Piper ablaze. I hope this two and a half minute video rekindles in you, as it does in me, a deep passion for God-centered preaching. If you haven’t read The Supremacy of God in Preaching, do your soul a favor and read it.

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